January 22, 2008 - It's the money, not the principle

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

it’s the money, not the principle Current mood: embarrassed & kinda humbled
I'm completely infatuated with celebrity death. It's sick, totally perverse, incredibly morbid and one hundred percent unexplainable. I even have this thing called Celebrity Death Beeper that sends texts to my cell phone when someone goes to the great beyond. No amount of therapy will make this weird obsession go away.
My fascination is so deep that somewhere out there in the vast webiverse I have a blog albeit not properly updated, that's a write up of celebrity obituaries. It's not about being crass or unemotional but it's actually about mocking me and celebrating the life of someone who's fifteen minutes of fame has lasted way longer then mine (I was seventeen, it was kinda nice).
So as everyone has probably heard by now Heath Ledger has passed away. He was 28 and he was someone's dad. It's really sad, it's really depressing and I send my sincere condolences to his family.
But the thing that kinda bugs the hell out of me is that on my way home I'm listening to the 'all news, all the time' radio station and the CBS news segment starts up and his passing is the LEAD story. Not the market sucking ass, the interest rate being cut this morning, the war, the presidential elections but the lead story is about an actor dying in a residence in New York from a possible overdose.
This isn't the first time I've said it but I'm kinda sickened by American news... everything is one salacious headline or a segment that in essence is a stupid infomercial. It's sad that there's a whole big world out there… that I'm only able to find out about from CBC news.
Currently listening : Breaking In an AngelBy Red Animal WarRelease date: By 24 April, 2001
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Nightcam
Patrica,You are right on the $, however, I must take exception, your are interested in celebrity deaths, you blog, you subscribe to txting svcs, "No amount of therapy will make this weird obsession go away." People are obsessed with this fodder. If people are interested and tune in the "news" outlets will deliver. News is a business. Focus groups and research shows what is popular, the popularity vote wins....everytime...eer except in Florida during presidential elections....Bottom Line, Heath Ledger's death should, in my opinion, not be a lead, but celeb deaths always will be as long as the pussification of America continues.What did you do at 17 for your 15?
Posted by Nightcam on Wednesday, January 23, 2008 at 7:27 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

January 28th - Straighten up girl now, you're doing just fine

Monday, January 28, 2008
Straighten up girl now, you’re doing just fine Current mood: thankful
Car rides when I was a kid went a little like this…
My mom driving, white knuckling the steering wheel, my dad in the passenger seat flipping through magazines and me, in the back seat, kind of oblivious of everything, possibly reading a book, staring at the sun until it turned into a big sweettart in the sky or just carrying on a conversation with my best bud, Snoopy. When the folks wanted to talk about things, like where should we go to dinner or how early should I go to bed basically stuff they didn't want me to know about or have any say so in, they would crank the radio up and drown out whatever was said. There I was, clueless, just along for the ride and having absolutely no say so whatsoever on what was going on.
I've been kinda getting that backseat, along for the ride sort of feeling lately… not really sure what's going on but feeling the consequences anyway.
For the second time in as many weeks I've been involved in some friend of a friend agitation. I'm not really sure what happened, what was talked about or where things go from here but I was the central part of the conversation. I'm really annoyed.
The thing is I'm old enough to drive myself, I don't have to play the part of a the little naïve, thumb sucking brat anymore and I'd like to get my two cents in on dinner (steak, medium rare please!!!). So lemme get behind the wheel, I know my way around. Believe me when I say I don't know where I want to end up but I've made enough wrong turns in my life already so I sure as hell know where I don't want to go.


Currently listening : Drive By Alan Jackson Release date: 15 January, 2002
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Feb 10, 2008 - Cause you can't change the way I am

Sunday, February 10, 2008
Cause you can’t change the way I am Current mood: strong

I went to a jewelry store yesterday to get something repaired. While I was in there waiting I noticed a selection of cutsy Valentines Day cards that were written from a guys point of view, cards that basically said 'I'm an idiot, I had no idea what kind of candy or cards you wanted so I bought these earrings/necklace/bracelet/ring instead.' Ack! I've never been a big fan of Valentines Day, not sure why, maybe cause I was a chubby, four eyed nerd in grade school that never got any cards or if I did they were crap. Or maybe it's because I'm a firm believer that if you really love someone you'll tell them on a Tuesday rather then when Hallmark says you should.
While attending my first year at EMU I had a silent crush on Drew, the guy hugging me in my profile pic, problem was he was smitten with my roommate who was just into him for the attention. They both had an affinity for cuddling. He started coming over every night, climbing into the bunk beneath me, the two of them would move around for a couple of minutes until they were in the perfect cuddle position then talk real low and giggle for about thirty minutes before falling asleep. It was torture. I bit my tongue and said nothing until one night when I tripped over his boots and then I went off telling him how annoying it was that he was here EVERY night. He stopped coming over for the evening cuddle; shortly afterwards the roomie found a new boy to spoon with... in his room.
During that time the group I hung around with, which included my silent but still existing crush, were talking and the subject of V-Day was brought up. I went off into my normal schpeel about what a fuckin' joke that Valentines Day, and for that matter Sweetest Day, were and that we've all been dupped by thinking that love can be bought and sold with cards and flowers.
A short time later it was 'that day' I remember walking back from class gagging on all the hearts on the wall and people just being overly sappy. I walked into my room, threw my bag on the floor in disgust and found this card and a few Hershey Kisses on my desk...(you can click on it to make it bigger)
I know it sounds stupid but I instantly turned to mush. It was, in some sort of fucked up way, probably the sweetest thing anyone has ever given me. So to Drew, wherever the hell you are, and everyone else out there I wish you a Very Happy UnValentines Day! May it be nothing like those marketing Hallmark, Hershy, FTD fucks want you to believe it is! XOXOXO
Currently listening : Tuesday Night Music Club By Sheryl Crow Release date: 03 August, 1993
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January 29, 2008: The Girl Who Cried 'Oh Shit!'

Current mood: feelin’ like a dumbass
A couple of weeks ago something really good and completely unexpected happened.
I've told only one person and they had to hear me bitch about my good fortune.
At work today I had to get an approval to keep production running. There were three people that could give me this approval and none of them were responding to my e-mails or answering their phones... this went on for a whole two hours!
I pissed and moaned about it like it was the end of my world.
Occasionally my boss buys me a cup of coffee from Starbucks.
I really hate Starbucks coffee.

I wonder... if something ever really tragic happened to me would anyone pay attention?
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Dcember 14, 2007: I ain't no high class broad

Friday, December 14, 2007
I ain’t no high class broad
Last night I ran into a guy that used to go out with a while back. He was one of those guys that was fun to hang out with did the dinner thing, watched some movies, nothing special. It all ended when he started getting busy, then sick, then really overwhelmingly busy and then the calls/texts dried up. OK, I got it, message received, loud and clear. Now it would be one thing if I ran into him looking kinda fuckable but NOOOOOOoooooooo I was a mess. I just got done taking my one dog for a long walk and when I got home from I changed out of my walking clothes so I could run up to 7-11. I had grabbed the first thing that I found on my bedroom floor. A pair of jeans, two sizes too big with a great big hole in the knee that was almost stylish in 1988, a baggy shirt with a couple of stains on the front, usually reserved for cleaning or sleeping and my ex-husbands XXL flannel (oops did I forget to pack that?). To round out the look my hair was all messed up from my hat I was wearing, I was still a little sweaty and I think I was a bit stinky. I looked like a redneck lesbian that was wearing her big beautiful butch girlfriends' clothes. Perfect.
We didn't talk. We just smiled, nodded, muttered "hi" and walked on. I'm sure in his mind I looked like a train wreck and that justified his blowing me off.
I obsessed about the whole run-in last night and it was the first thing that came to my mind this morning as I was getting ready for work. Then I remembered that our conversations were about as exciting as dry toast and that he was kind of a pretty boy himbo. That made me feel a little better because I can do a half way decent job of cleaning up but being a boring, self absorbed dumbass is forever.
Currently listening : Red Carpet Massacre By Duran Duran Release date: 13 November, 2007

January 11, 2008: I wasn't lookin' but somehow you found me

Current mood: lonely
My title at work is Office Manager/Customer Service. Sounds impressive don't it? Yeah, well, it really isn't.90% of the time I'm in the office by myself… a 58' x 32' office… all by myself.It's not so bad now that there are walls but the first year and half or so it was one big, dark, empty space.I used to do cartwheels in there when I was bored, could do about six in a row, they weren't pretty though.Played tackle football once in there too, well sorta. I was running away from a drunk guy that was trying to molest me, I tripped, he tackled and my foot nailed him right in the balls… game over.
Back to the point of this whole thing…
I'm left up here, alone OFTEN, in a big friggin room.It really sucks.I don't actually deal with people face to face I just talk to them over the phone and not really that much anymore now that everyone e-mails each other.Occasionally I get some people from the shop floor to come up but that's just considered T.W. (Time Waster) I'm the fill in between shifts, the last three minutes before lunch is over or when their day is moving slowly and they need a break.
So it gets pretty lonely.
I used to cruise the internet chat rooms. Not so much anymore though… I found that they were filled with people that didn't work and wanted sex (that's a shocker).I moved on to texting awhile ago and I love it… sorta There's this one person that sends the same text every other week or so asking me out to which I reply 'no' each time. He's a determined fucker you've gotta give him props for that, besides it's the little stupid ego boost that I sometimes need.I'm usually at my desk doing the texting but when my boss is up front making calls I tend to run off to the bathroom… there are some days I'm running to the potty so much that he must think I have a bladder infection.
Actually it's not all that bad – when everyone leaves I get to crank my music up really loud… no one bitches.I dance around like a geek – no one there to critique.I can adjust my bra & underwear without anyone saying anything.When I used drink a lot I'd come into work hung over, crawl under my desk and take a nap.
So here's my point
My boss bought this really cool pony thing for his granddaughter for Christmas that responds to voices and movements. I came in Thursday and it was right next to my desk I was a little bothered by it because it cuts off my little aisle way but as the day progressed I started loving it.It's just a battery operated thing (not like I've got plenty of those already) but I could talk to it and it would shake its head or wag its tail and I didn't feel so alone.Found out she really loves The Doors and Britney Spears (don't judge me) she started moving a lot making all sorts of crazy noises, wagging her tail the whole thing it was awesome when… I had a dancing partner.I've been trying to talk my boss out of sending out to Utah where his granddaughter lives but alas Butterscotch is now boxed up and I'm here by myself again.It kinda sucks… I've got the music going (I'm on this weird Carly Simon kick today) but no one here to get all pumped up and shake it with me.I'm almost caught up my work all I have to do is balance the company's checkbooks and wait for quotes to be faxed over.I'm doing the white mans overbite dance... alone…
This sucks.

November 27, 2007: Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't after you

Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t after you
Six lessons learned...
1. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. (This refers to me... not you).
2. Some compliments are better left unsaid... but that doesn't stop certain people.
3. Singing "Redneck Woman" at the top of my lungs will pull me out of any shitty mood.
4. Never talk about your problems with someone taking a psychology class. (I used to be fucked up... now my problems have names - three to be exact)
5. My life is empty without tetrahydro-beta-carbolines. (Last year I could drop $40 at a shithole dive bar these days I drop that much cruising the candy aisle at CVS).
6. Writing as a hobby I can do, no problem. However writing for a stupid fucking paper for class, major problem.
Until next time,
A SWF with CSL's occasionally wearing FMB's with a slight case of OCD but on a SSRI spending a lot of time lately working towards a PMP from PMI
Currently listening : Greatest Hits & Remixes By Paul Oakenfold Release date: 23 October, 2007
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December 12, 2007: Belelated Ten on Tuesday: Christmas Gifts

There are four types of Christmas gifts…
Shit you can't live without (clothes, shoes, socks, vodka, internet connection)
Shit you like but would never buy for yourself (Like the $100 bottle of perfume my mom always picks up at the duty free shop)
Shit from people you know but don't know but they buy stuff for you anyway (anything from Bath & Body Works, cookies, popcorn, etc.)
Shit you REALLY want that there's no way in HELL that you're ever going to get it. E.V.E.R!
My list is gonna be about the fourth type of gift... stuff I want but never gonna get...
1) Seven course dinner followed by an evening of baccarat in a Monte Carlo casino with Sean Connery, Roger Moore, Timothy Dalton, Pierce Bronson and Daniel Craig. George Lazenby will be there as well... holding my purse.
2) Have an action figure made in my likeness.
3) I want to go to Graceland, damnit!! (I realize this one is possible I would just prefer not to do it alone and it's being to look like that I'll never find anyone to go with me.)
4) A lemur
5) Take a ride in the Concorde (they could bring it back – just for lil ol me!)
6) The ability to go back in time twice to tell myself "Oh baby, you can do soooo much better".
7) "An official Red Ryder carbine action two-hundred shot range model air rifle with a compass in the stock and this thing that tells time"
8) A shit load of parachuting & snowboard lessons so I can do that whole jump out of a plane with a snowboard strapped on my feet, do all sorts of fucked up tricks in the air then land on the side of a mountain and snowboard down – how frickin' cool would that be!
9) Stranded on Necker Island for a month or five
10) Have Mike Ness sing 'Happy Birthday' to me next July.
Jus' sayin'
Ten On Tuesday
Currently listening : Motherfuckers Be Trippin’By SupersuckersRelease date: By 22 April, 2003
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Impecunious
4 - Another pet?
Posted by Impecunious on Wednesday, December 12, 2007 at 9:41 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]
* p *
A plethora of domesticated animals makes me a crazy old maid... just one exotic pet would elevate me to eccentric spinster...
Posted by * p * on Thursday, December 13, 2007 at 2:26 PM [Remove] [Reply to this]

December 1, 2007: hidoi kadzuke

I dated this one guy for three years, a real sweetie, pretty straight laced. He used to tell me all the time that he didn't know where I was coming from and that I was "…a puzzle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma" – gawd that was the worst. How could you date someone that long and not know anything? That would lead up to him asking "Well, tell me something about you." The only thing I could come up with is "I love the fall". I guess, to me that seemed to be the best answer to a question that would take hours to answer.
A friend recently gave me some dating advice. He said "When it comes to dating just be your self".
I thought it over and wondered if the best thing would be to have full disclosure up front. Present a card to a potential suitor that lists all my faults. Tell them that I've got this thing with eye snot and body odor. Tell them that I'm a little insecure and if I ask you how I look before going out for the evening the proper response would be "You look fuckable". Then a few odd bits like I collect Pez Dispensers or that you can't get me off the futon if there's a James Bond movie marathon on cable. And then finish things off by listing some good traits like I think I'm funny, I can be pretty obnoxious but, you know, in a good way, I'm caring, loyal, a good listener and generous to a fault. Or is it just best to keep this stuff all inside, tell the person very little and after you've scored a few meals and at least one movie slowly let these little facts start slipping out. I'm just not quite sure.
Back in October I managed to wrangle up some innocent little internet date. I got to the pre-determined destination early, ordered up my coffee, sat down at a table and waited. When he arrived he sat down, got all the little pleasantries out of the way he began talking and talking and talking and talking then he asked "Tell me something about your self" and before I knew it I said "I love the fall, don't you?" and just left it at that besides there was this new Japanese restaurant in Royal Oak I was dying to try out.In other words
Currently watching : Shaun of the DeadRelease date: By 21 December, 2004
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Renaissance Tailor
I like the fall....
Posted by Renaissance Tailor on Wednesday, December 12, 2007 at 11:38 AM [Remove] [Reply to this]

December 1, 2007: hidoi kadzuke

I dated this one guy for three years, a real sweetie, pretty straight laced. He used to tell me all the time that he didn't know where I was coming from and that I was "…a puzzle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma" – gawd that was the worst. How could you date someone that long and not know anything? That would lead up to him asking "Well, tell me something about you." The only thing I could come up with is "I love the fall". I guess, to me that seemed to be the best answer to a question that would take hours to answer.
A friend recently gave me some dating advice. He said "When it comes to dating just be your self".
I thought it over and wondered if the best thing would be to have full disclosure up front. Present a card to a potential suitor that lists all my faults. Tell them that I've got this thing with eye snot and body odor. Tell them that I'm a little insecure and if I ask you how I look before going out for the evening the proper response would be "You look fuckable". Then a few odd bits like I collect Pez Dispensers or that you can't get me off the futon if there's a James Bond movie marathon on cable. And then finish things off by listing some good traits like I think I'm funny, I can be pretty obnoxious but, you know, in a good way, I'm caring, loyal, a good listener and generous to a fault. Or is it just best to keep this stuff all inside, tell the person very little and after you've scored a few meals and at least one movie slowly let these little facts start slipping out. I'm just not quite sure.
Back in October I managed to wrangle up some innocent little internet date. I got to the pre-determined destination early, ordered up my coffee, sat down at a table and waited. When he arrived he sat down, got all the little pleasantries out of the way he began talking and talking and talking and talking then he asked "Tell me something about your self" and before I knew it I said "I love the fall, don't you?" and just left it at that besides there was this new Japanese restaurant in Royal Oak I was dying to try out.In other words
Currently watching : Shaun of the DeadRelease date: By 21 December, 2004
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Renaissance Tailor
I like the fall....
Posted by Renaissance Tailor on Wednesday, December 12, 2007 at 11:38 AM [Remove] [Reply to this]

December 4, 2007: Ten On Tuesday

Part of my daily routine at work is to goof off for a good hour or two ... depending on what's going on. Heaven forbid that we have customers in and I have to dress up in a nice business suit or skirt and be pleasent and productive for a full eight hours.
So I'm dicking around on the 'net today, reading Perez, watching Kanye on YouTube you know all of the important life affirming shit and I find this site called Ten on Tuesday - just some blog that asks to list your Top Ten... whatever the subject is this week.
This weeks subject... Ten Favorite Things to Complain About... here are mine
1) Automated help lines with voice recognition software... and I have a cold.
2) Technical support phones lines staffed with unintelligible Indians with cute American names like 'Steve' or 'Amy'.
3) There have only been two good pictures taken of me in my entire life. All the rest suck ass.
4) Misspelling in text messages. For the record it's "I want to fuck you" not "I want 2 fuk u" and the answer is still "NO".
5) Dumb ass lyrics that get stuck in my head and won't go away. (You know how long I've been on ya / Since Prince was on Apollonia / Since OJ had Isotoners / Don't act like I never told ya')
6) Dogs. Dog hair, dog farts, dog breath, dog food, dog shit
7) People that say... "I didn't want to tell you back then but I really thought that (man/haircut/lipstick/outfit) wasn't a good choice." NOW you tell me?!?! Thanks for having my back
8) Why am I having so many conversations about underwear lately. I was involved in three different ones yesterday.
9) Warming up the truck for fifteen minutes for my five minute commute to work.
10) Trying to find a way to accept a final decision or outcome to a situation that didn't go exactly the way I thought it would.
...valmis...
Currently listening : Dan in Real Life By Sondre Lerche Release date: 02 October, 2007